some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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