i already hear my dad disowning me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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