pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
