after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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