don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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