They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
