Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't deserve a penis
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
