Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
