..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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