this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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