i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
