you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
