Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
