69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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