The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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