Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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