What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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