8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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