dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
