I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
