Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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