Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
