I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
