she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
