I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
