hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The uberlube is also flammable
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
