this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
