we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
