shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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