How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
