why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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