if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
