How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
