How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
