My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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