You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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