The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
