I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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