I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
