This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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