the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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