dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
