Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
