I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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