Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
