I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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