she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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