So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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