So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How does it feel to date your dad?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize