I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
