I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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