we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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