hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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