every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
