I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
