she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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