Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
