Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
