I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
did i walk over a car last night?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
