so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
