yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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