Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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