that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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