I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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