a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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