I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
