it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize